Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Living the Dream: Plan B

It still amazes me how difficult it has been to transition from a 9-5 office job to a field job with 50% travel.  I started out treading water and that was fine.  Somehow it seems like I am still treading water.  I used to wear a number of hats and I still do, but none of them seem to fit well anymore.

My roles in life include husband, father, son, brother, friend, citizen, employee, athlete and hobbyist.  As an employee, I am on a new trajectory.  However as a husband, father, son, brother and friend, I feel like I am taking more than I am giving back.  As a citizen, I have curtailed my contributions significantly.  I am still involved with the elementary school, but have stepped back from the HOA and intend to step back from the local triathlon club.  As an athlete and hobbyist, my participation is erratic at best and more likely non-existent.

The glimmer of hope finally came this past couple of weeks.  I was able to spend all of my time off with the family, training and catching up on outstanding commitments.  The kids and I went roller skating, made pottery and jumped around at Spider Monkey extreme air adventures.  We sat down for Thanksgiving dinner and had some friends over for dessert.  My wife and I were able to enjoy a date afternoon.  I got out on the bike two days, got a couple of runs in and made it to the gym pretty consistently.  Further, I made good on some of my community obligations.

My life goals have not changed.  I still seek spiritual peace, enjoying time with my wife and daughters, being fit and energetic, designing/developing technically innovative products and pursuing new activities and adventures.  The path towards the goals looks a little different.  My travel schedule has reinforced my goals and I do not take family for granted.  I know that I have to be creative in order to stay fit and energetic.  Adventures are certainly more accessible with a little time management.  What I need to seek more diligently is spiritual peace.  While a shake up should make me more trusting when life's pieces come back together, it has not.

I still feel guilty when I am out of town and leave my wife to be a "single parent" juggling her rewarding professional life, the kids activities and managing our household.

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